So I had this little red flag looking at me on Facebook this evening, "Jeremy Dugan has tagged you in a message"....
Was in no way prepared for what I was to find when I clicked on that red flag. My son, My Jeremy saying this...to me, to every one of his pals on Facebook.
So when describing my mother to people I put it pretty simply "Imagine me 5'5" 1/2 (can't ever forget the 1/2) and white, she's my mini-me". And really that is a real good description of my mother. Because folks, this smart, shit talking (but funny), cocky (but only on the outside), good looking brother you see in front of you today wouldn't be around if it wasn't for Samantha Dugan. She taught me a lot of what I know now about life. She taught me to look at my skin color and her's as no different, how to make light of the subject of race. She's also taught me what the real world was like, even though it is a mother's natural feeling to protect her child(ren) from all the bad things in the world, she let me out into it to see how I would do, and if I needed help; she was there to help me, if I messed up; she was there to correct me. And even though I call her my mini-me, my mother is the person I want to be.
I see her in her life right now; she works at a job she loves (it drives her crazy sometimes but she is doing what she loves so she takes it all in stride), she is writing and getting love from everyone for it. And in both of those areas she is loved, people that have been in those fields longer than her look to her for answers, admire her, want to see what she is doing, and best of all, she has a loving partner there with her every step, that is what I want when I get older. I want to be a history teacher (yea I know a lot of you think that's boring but hey, this is my life) that is damn good at it, I want people that have been teaching for as long as I've been in high school to tell me that I'M changing the way history is taught, coming to ME to get advice.
When I think about it, I want to be my mother’s bigger-me. Now some of y’all reading this are going to ask “why is he doing this over the internet, why not just tell her all this?” You guys don’t know the Dugans then, what’s really on our minds is something that comes out in few forms so when you can get it, take it. Also, that’s how we roll; my mother and I have a bond, a bond that isn’t the same as most mothers and sons, it’s different in a good way. We have this connection that no one can break (and even if they tried we’d break them), a connection that people who don’t know I’m her son or can’t tell that I am, can see that we have something, something odd to even us but we go with it. So why am I doing this over the internet, I’m just trying to be more like S.A.D, the pro writing blogger who is taking the wine blog world over by storm.
Okay this is Sam now. Is there anyway, anything that can make you feel more proud…not just of your child but of the stumbling-through-it that is parenthood than this? I am so proud of my son….turns out, he is proud of me too. I wish there where words, there just aren’t. I was brought to trembling tears by this beautiful expression of love from my sweet son…shared on Facebook for all his friends to see.
Jeremy, your words melt me. Your pride inspires me and your faith pushes me. You are my light young man, you have saved me, honored me and your love is the single greatest, most profound in my life. You and I kid…we did it. I love you.
Damn I could use one of those "My baby" scented hugs right now...