Monday, May 17, 2010

Yeah Okay So I Lied......

So Thursday morning when I posted my little “See ya later” dealie I fully intended on posting from Key Biscayne. Thought for sure that the free time I had would find me hunched over my laptop once again, sharing all the happenings and whatever food and wine moments I had….well yeah okay so I lied. It was not that I didn’t have the time, no not at all, matter of fact I spent most of the day yesterday just sitting in my chilly, not too moist hotel room watching stupid television or lounging on my little terrace watching the people go by. Time was not the issue and it was not as if I didn’t miss you cats because I did but it really wasn’t a wine weekend so I was unsure if anyone would give a rat’s ass that I was spending my time sipping away of gin and tonics and Pastis. For those of you that do care, this is how it went……

Woke up Thursday morning fully clothed on the couch in front of my laptop. I had been up far too late chatting with a friend on facebook so I got about two hours sleep, this really pleased the hubby I assure you. Our flight was out of LAX at the ass crack of dawn so we needed to leave the house by 5:00 am. I fired off my little post, again the hubby loving that one, and we made it to our gate with time to spare. As I felt the adrenalin of having to be up and rushing wear off that was when it hit me, “Damn…I’m tired” I knew better than to say a word. Landed in Miami where there was a little lady holding a sign with the hubby’s company name a logo, gathered our bags, (Oh and what the hell with the baggage claim being like twenty miles from the gate there at the Miami airport?! Dude, people movers…look into it) and were deposited at the Ritz Carlton. Dropped off the bags and made our way to the welcome reception where we ate lobster, I danced with the hubby’s bosses and I made only one tiny move of jack assery. Sitting there at the dinner table with the big mucky mucks of my husband’s company when the announcer guy said, “Those of you planning on going into South Beach this weekend should know that there is a porn convention going on” now I’m not sure if it was my volume or if it was my arms raised over my head as I yelled “Woo hoo!!!” that was more frowned upon….either way I stood out to say the least.

Friday I lounged while the hubby golfed and then we caught a cab into Coconut Grove for dinner, not all that thrilling. Saturday was another lounge day, this time by the pool. I’m pretty fair and not so much a sun worshiper so I found a comfy little pillow drenched couch under a palm tree, face melting from the humidity sipping away on cocktails. Quick shower and off to South Beach for the night…what a scene that place is! Amazing people watching, hostesses acting like those little guys in Vegas that try and hand you those Pick A Chick flyers….smacking their hands and waving stuff in your face, unreal. Had a rather delicious dinner and ended up at a club called The Clevelander where we drank too much and danced even more. I was spellbound by this guy on the dance floor; seriously buffed, long braids, in spandex and on Ecstasy…that dude, that dude was magic.

Yesterday was as I said, spent in the room or on the terrace where I simply marveled in how people kind of really check out when they go on vacation. I saw a woman wearing only the bottom half of her bikini…oh wait, nope dude in a speedo with some serious man breastage, ewe. Saw two terrace violations; old dude with a body shape that reminded me of a tomato on toothpicks, standing on his terrace in his tighty whiteys…dude, it’s not a private patio, we CAN see you…ewe. The other was while the hubby and I were on our terrace taking in the view, I had seen the guy four or five terraces over also taking in the view but had directed my attention back to the ocean. That was until the hubby says, “Oh My God, look over there” and I turned my head to see that the guy was no longer alone, his wife or whatever had joined him and was trying to get her seduction on….naked, she was naked and sixty if she was a day…ewe. Really people?! In this giant building full of windows and balconies you really believe no one can see you? I mean sure behind the reflective glass….oh did I mention that the hubby did not mention the windows were not reflective until day two…second bit of jackassery for me and now I am wondering which of my hotel neighbors is telling the story of the idiot that kept changing in front of the non reflective windows.

Late dinner last night
Fitful nights sleep
Sweaty morning
Had a great time and all but
Ready to go home….

Had a blast but am ready to get back to my life, my work, this silly blog and back to my beloved wines. I love me some cocktails but four days without more than a glass or two of wine has me itching……


Nancy Deprez said...

Welcome back Samantha! I would have laughed when you said woohoo to the porn convention announcement. Seriously people, stop being so serious!

Samantha Dugan said...


Just getting ready to leave but thank you for the welcome home wishes....well that and for understanding my jack assery!

The Woo said...

MIA is one of my most dreaded airports. It may be the worst airport in the US. Well, MIA and BOS in my opinion. At least you got to stay at a great property!

Safe travels home.

Charlie Olken said...

There is only problem with South Beach. It is so "South Beach". You did not mention Little Havana but I hope you had a chance to get over there.

And, I have never quite understood why anyone from LA could even enjoy Miami.

vickibarkley said...

yeah, I think you behaved admirably. I avoid Miami like the plague. Humidity, heat, Disney, no decent wine,
Welcome back, Girly,
and please put me on the list for Friday!


Dave said...

"And, I have never quite understood why anyone from LA could even enjoy Miami."

Amen Charlie, I can't imagine anyone from Bakersfield finding it enjoyable.

Sip with Me! said...

First of all, they do sell wine in Miami, and even some good stuff! Secondly, I woulda been right there with you at that porn convention, a lot more fun than a table of muckleheads. Welcome back, I look forward to seeing your voice again!

TWG said...

Welcome back. Fla. is not the place for wine. BTW Vicky, Disney is in Orlando at least four hours away.

Samantha Dugan said...

That airport was pretty dreadful AND it's under construction...perfect.

I had fun in South Beach, it was that "Holy Shit can you believe that?" kind of fun but fun still. Did not make it to Little Havana, probably would have loved that. Yeah....Miami was never a draw for me but when you are talking a swanky free trip, well you kinda gotta no?

Thanks girlie and will do!

Yeah like I said, free 4 day trip to the Ritz, how could I not?

Yeah the wines that I did see left a lot to be desired but I was kind of stuck on the grounds for the most part so I didn't see what any stores had to offer.

Sip with Me,
We sat across from a few of those girls at dinner Saturday night....lots of spackle if you know what I'm sayin'...kind of crazy to see it up close. Lots of Butter Faces but it was a bit exciting to be in the middle of it!

Anonymous said...

You have a responsibility when you go outside...had a great time with you Sam. xo c

Samantha Dugan said...

Had so much fun with you and S! I left you guys out of my little diatribe here.....protecting the not so innocent I guess. I absolutely adore you two and we have to get together more....especially when I have not been held up alone in my room all day so then I wont behave like some silly yapping poodle as I did that last night! Big hugs to you both,