Friday, August 20, 2010

That's The Ticket




With the loud buzzing and furiously huffing hot air from my blow-dryer scooping up batches of my damp hair and depositing them warm and vibrating across my brow, along the back of my neck, dangling along my collarbone I saw it. I stood there in my jammies, my eyes tired….weary, my body feeling like I had been training for a marathon, (um, okay that’s bullshit, I have NO idea what that would feel like. I mean c’mon who are we kidding but I was physically spent) drying my hair after taking a much needed and appreciated moment of quiet in the shower and the reflection in the mirror over my left shoulder there it was, my bed. I clicked the off switch on my now hot and abnormally loud blow-dryer, spun around and took a couple steps closer to the place that I begrudgingly stumble off too, often far too late in the evening/morning…the place that since childhood I had seen as an enemy, a place you ended up surrendering to and….well it looked so damn inviting.

The pillows still squished and askew from the night before, the bedspread in a lump at the foot, the sheets crumpled but swaying a bit in the breeze that was coming off the fan in the open window…the moon casting a bright but soft light on the deserted basketball court, and the faint smell of warm cement catching the wave of outside air, skidding across the quivering sheets and inviting me to come closer. I glanced at the clock and literally felt my heart sink deep in my chest, 10:30. “I can’t go to bed at 10:30! Hell there are nights when I am heading out to meet someone for drinks or a glass of wine at 10:30. What am I eighty?!” But I didn’t walk away. No in fact I took another step closer….and another and another. The sound of the television in the front room now just faint enough to keep me company, the early morning meeting, the eleven hour workday, the foiled attempt at hot tub time, (not so relaxing when a couple twenty something Euro hard bodies, in Speedos no less, a couple in shorts and t-shirts…and beer bring their 3 kids to your stolen moment of bubbling hot water, wine and relaxation under the moon) the screaming-to-compete with the fan television in the front room and yet another failed attempted at communication which resulted in a fight with someone I love very deeply. All of it now standing behind me, the accumulative weight of each feeling like two giant paws now resting squarely on my shoulders, the sheer mass of it all slowly pushing me closer until, I surrendered.




It’s been one hell of a couple weeks for me, some of it good and some not so much but rolling with the punches is an art I learned to master years ago. Things rarely get me down for too long and I can ride those high times for weeks on end but lately the yanking of up and down has been so dramatic. Almost violent spikes of elation and deflation often leaving me wondering if I am right side up or upside down…trying desperately to find a still second to figure it out. Last night that, “Still second” asserted itself, demanded that I shut down for just one evening….just shhhhh. It started with my body, me feeling as if it was moving without me, taking each step closer to the place where it was to lay, still, untouched…not wanting to be noticed or even to expend one more ounce of effort…..shhhh. Next it was my mind, one minute it was buzzing in fragmented blips, none coherent or complete enough for me to make any sense of it….to solve, fix, and prepare for anything. My mind slowly began shutting down the open tabs. One by one the projects; the things I wish I had said, the orders I need to place, the email I was drafting….each one shutting down one after another….each one vanishing into the shhhhh.



When I woke this morning I found myself still safely tucked away where I had left me, curled up on my left side, the sheets weaved between my thighs, the too-soft-to-rest-your-head-on pillow pressed closely to my chest, my arms tightly hugging it close to me….still in the shhhhh, for a minute. The second I moved my body my mind began opening the tabs once again but somehow…somehow they seemed a little more in focus, a little easier to make out and manage. As I made my way to the kitchen to jump into a cup of coffee I passed my little wine fridge, its gaping holes a reminder that I need to do a little shopping and as I breezed by a little gold caught my eye. I stepped back, took the second to look instead of promising myself to check it out later and to my surprise I saw something that will be my high to ride for the rest of the day….my golden ticket, a bottle of Pierre Peters Grand Cru Blanc de Blancs tucked away and forgotten about. I yanked it from its hiding spot and slipped it into my fridge, no matter what the rest of this day holds for me….I am going to spend this evening touching, loving, admiring and tasting a truly great love…….




Bring it
What you got?
I have a grand night’s sleep and
A Grand Cru Blanc de Blancs

15 comments:

chris said...

Dear Sam,

Take care of yourself, listen to your body and go to bed "early" if necessary.

vickibarkley said...

Ah, yes. I know that golden ticket! Cheers, my friend!

Another Day of Crazy said...

Seems as though you and I have been riding the same rollercoaster these past few weeks. I, too, slipped a bottle of wine in the fridge this morning, just waiting for tonight. Couldn't tell you what though, to be honest, I told Middle Child to just grab one and put it in the fridge for me while I was busy rushing around to get out the door.

Here's to cheers tonight, I hope you find one of those elusive moments this evening. And cheers to us, and our odd continuing similarities.

Valerie said...

Sleep - oh so good when it comes like that. Finding a great bottle you forgot about? Way better than finding the $20 bill in a winter coat pocket from last year (usually alongside a Kleenex). Good stuff.

Samantha Dugan said...

Chris,
I fear I am making it sound worse than it is, just the regular ups and downs of life....but a little more UP and Down than usual. I will take care and thank you for your concern, very sweet that.

Vic,
You know it girlie!

Another Day of Crazy,
I will think of you, of us and our ongoing converging....growing friendship, as I pop the cork on that beautiful bottle of Champagne this evening. Cheers lady.

Valerie,
Isn't it the best?! Here's to an extra $20 bucks and a much needed "found" bottle of bubbles!

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

How come whenever I discover a "lost" bottle of wine it's more likely to be a red wine from Germany or a Swiss white? Bad wine karma, I guess.

Does it seem to anyone else like it's been a tough two weeks for everybody? It may be related to climate change. Seems like everybody I talk to is having a rough ride, not just you and AnotherDayofCrazy. But nobody finds a better way of expressing it than you, Love.

How I wish I were sharing that bottle of bubbly with you in that place you saw as a childhood enemy. That would be one long Up.

I love you!

Your HoseMaster

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
What the hell were Swiss wine and German reds doing in your cellar in the first place?! Not sure Karma should be blamed there baby. As to you and me and bottle makes three, well I know your feelings about Pierre Peters...I might feel like a third wheel, just can't compete with something so perfectly lovely but....can I watch?

TWG said...

Stop dissing German Reds. Obviously a bottle of good Champagne is better than a $20 (by at least a factor of 2.5, well maybe not if you're ITB).

Samantha Dugan said...

TWG,
First naughty talk from Ron and now a spanking from you....feeling all tingly and junk. I actually like some German Pinot Noir, quite a bit as a matter of fact but...just not sure they belong in the cellar or wine fridge, I like em' young! My wines that is, my men I like old, way old, old enough for me to boss them around and toy with them...see, see what you two spawned?

Thomas said...

What time should I be there, Sam.

Signed,
The old man

It's better to be an old man than to be a cricket or tumbleweed...no?

Samantha Dugan said...

Thomas,
Thank you Old Friend.
Sam

Marcia Macomber said...

Gawd! I loved your description of the Call of the Mattress...for sleep.

In answer to your point and Ron's, boy, it must be the tides, moon (same thing), climate change et al, the last two weeks have been...weird. LOTS of ups and downs. But at least they've felt like oversize waves to ride. Don't be thrown by the lows as the highs will come up right away.

I am envious of your 'found' wine. Mine isn't nearly as exciting...

Word verif: 'grumish' (Isn't it though?)

Samantha Dugan said...

Marcia,
Awe shucks...thanks lady! Seems the more I talk about it the more people are telling me that things are all funky in their worlds too, must just be some freaky cycle. Kinda comforting to know it's not just me....

Dave said...

Yeah, make that +4 or 5, or whatever number it's up to for the past two weeks of roller coaster, strange freakin' days.

One high note came about after Ron's mention of Swiss wines... ran into this thread:

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/728306?tag=main_body;topic-728306

Made my day to discover that there are a number of other producers of Müller-Thurgau up in Oregon besides the one I had found. Also learned it's a hybrid developed by Hermann Müller from the Swiss Canton of Thurgau in 1882, at at the Geisenheim Institute in Germany, where ultimately "almost single-handedly responsible for the decline" of that country.

Bottom line, sad statement this being a highlight, but at least I came away with some book larnin', if not geekier and much more boring. Hmmm, I wonder if the HoseMaster would help me start a wine blog?

Samantha Dugan said...

Dave,
You too huh? Wonder what the heck is going on? Well as our beloved Puff Daddy always tells me, "This too shall pass".....hope for all of us it's soon! Hugs to you darlin'