Friday, October 15, 2010

I'm Begging You, Please Make Me Feel Something




I need you so badly right now

For the first time in five days I came home with a severe hunger for you

The kind of primal need that has me noticing each strand of hair the wind is sweeping across my neck

The pieces that slip beneath my collar and cause me to suck in my breath and then let it go in a want inspired, almost pained sounding groan

Those few hairs kissing the base of my neck leaving my body tense but pliable

Erect but with the right touch….your touch, ready to melt into soft puddles in your hand
I distract myself with dinner

The chopping of tomatoes for the salad

The course feeling of kosher salt between my fingers

The burring of my bare hands in the bowl

Slippery and firm tomato flesh

Gooey seeds

The salt induced releasing of fluid

My hips pressed firm against the counter as my fingers get lost in a bowl of sensual texture

The way my lips part, anxious and ready for the surrendered tomato moisture that drips from the tips of my fingers

My tongue lapping up the fruits of the salt’s labor….

My mind so far from dinner that I find myself blushing



I pour myself a glass of my go to cool weather dinner making wine, Madeira

It falls clunky and clumsy on my aching palate

The sweetness coming off stupid

Lazy

Boring

Just enough “meh” to turn my focus back to food and forget, just for a moment the neck kissing hair, the groan and the course salt that made those tomatoes ooze

Back to chopping

Hunks of crusty bread

My knife slicing through dense crumbly, crackling crust then sailing through the doughy soft interior

The slight cackle as a stick of butter bubbles away on my stove top

The garlic and herbs releasing their oils, opening, splitting and melting into the bubbling cauldron

Bread cubes tossed on a sheet pan

A swish of the pan

One more moment alone before

I dump the warm, rich herb infused buttery mixture over the waiting cubes

My hands once again tossing

Being coated

Saturated but this time with fatty richness, sharp piquant seasoning, soft interior and hard crunchy crust

I feel my groan aching to escape

Begging to be inspired



I dump my Madeira and pour myself a glass of Chablis

A Chablis that has been….pressing my hips against the counter for weeks now but

Flat

Felt flat

Too stark after the Madeira and

Not making me feel anything….

Dinner finished

A few bites and picking but

Wasn’t what I wanted

What I needed

A Carpano vermouth cocktail was tasty but also not what I craved

I jumped into a sample bottle of Champagne

Just sure that my forever lover would be able to slip inside me and find that spot that makes me wiggle beneath my skin



Not


Fuck


Whimpering….

I am going to bed


Neck nibbled

Body erect and ready to be salted….

My moisture so ready, so agonizingly ready to be released

Frustrated…..

15 comments:

vickibarkley said...

Not Madeira, not Chablis, not Champagne, not......

Volnay?
Barolo?
Pommard?
St. Joseph?

????????????????

Dagueneau??

Michael Hughes said...

damn. I think I need to shower now.

Samantha Dugan said...

Vicki,
Not sure anything would have done it last night...although I suspect that I was aching for something more opulent, richer, sexier. Such a bummer.

Michael,
Oh no! Darlin' I didn't mean to creep you out. Sorry baby, I had not posted in so long, my words were stuffed beneath my nasty ass cold and this was what poured out of me last night. Needed to get back on the horse as it were. I will try and clean it up for next time....maybe. Kisses to you and when are you and Kelly getting your asses out here?!

middle child said...

Excellently descriptive. I could taste and feel everything.

Samantha Dugan said...

Middle Child,
Well welcome to my own Day of Crazy. Thanks so much for stopping by and for "seeing" what it is I was going through. Just had a dear friend, someone that is with me like 5 days out of 7 read this and tell me, "I feel like I'm blushing" so I so appreciate you taking a moment to post this and soothe my very naked feeling feathers. Sending you a fist pump from one middle child to another...

Another Day of Crazy said...

Mmmmmm....

Thomas said...

If my wife hadn't given me the cold, I might have enjoyed this post, but I cannot focus my eyes--they hurt!

This is one nasty cold...

TWG said...

Must still have the lingering effects of your cold.

Samantha Dugan said...

Another Day of Crazy,
Thank you or I'm sorry...not sure which applies here.

Thomas,
OH NO! Get better soon you poor thing.

TWG,
Think it might have been....feeling much better and will be spending this afternoon at a grower Champagne tasting just to make sure. Wish me luck!

Wayne Young said...

You can NOT make me read something like this at work ever again.

Samantha Dugan said...

Wayne,
Well that made me laugh out loud so thank you for that. I've been asked to tame down my photos by people that read from work and are concerned that their coworkers will think they are viewing "questionable" material, but I dig the pictures and think they add...something, so they will be staying for now.

Thanks for reading and commenting, hope you stick around for a while.

k2 said...

Bloody hell Sam! I think you blew out my V-chip. There's simply no going back to PG-13 ever again, not that you were ever there. I think my laptop has melted. I think I need a nap now. Cheers!

Samantha Dugan said...

k2,
Shit, I must be numb in my tingly bits because I didn't think this one was that saucy. Maybe it was the "lapping"...

Wally said...

Samantha,
I promise I'll behave better here than I do at Louisville Juice.
The bottle you were looking for is André Brunel's 2008 Les Cailloux. André teased us with a bottle at dinner in June and I have been waiting for release. It's here now and I've sought comfort in its arms repeatedly. Really surprising because I'm usually attracted to age and maturity but it offers so much more right now than the '07. Slick, silky entry, and long, with a firm, persistent finish.

Samantha Dugan said...

Wally,
Behave anyway you wish, not sure you noticed but there aren't many rules around this joint. Not sure the Brunel would have been able to salt me that night, thinking the only thing that might have done it would have involved a bottle of something luscious like Billiot or Saves, maybe an older red Burgundy and just the right person to share it with...